There is a lot of difference between Youth Boot Camps and Arivaca Boys Ranch. A solid, therapeutic routine that builds self-confidence and responsibility is sometimes the missing element in other methods.
Doing the same thing over doesn't work
“Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results (Albert Einstein)." Youth boot camps are not the only options you have, but it is insane not to examine the options when you have reached the end of the rope with your son.
 Making a decision about whether or not to make a decision now is also somewhat insane but is human nature. Youth boot camps seem so extreme and most parents keep waiting in the belief "things will work out—he'll get over it and then we won't have to do anything." If the disruption has been going on for awhile, though, such is not going to be the case. Both you and your son need a change in environment. A youth boot camp, wilderness camp or working ranch can offer the relief. Making an informed decision about whom to ask for help is the best step forward you can make.
What is this going to do to my family?
Going round and round with your son, never getting anywhere except to raise the stress level in the home is not only counterproductive, it is destructive to the family relationship. It causes strain in the marriage relationship; it causes rivalries and jealousies among the siblings. Insanity truly is doing this over and over again, every day, and expecting that each day will bring more hope for a different outcome. Nothing you can do to ask for help could be worse than not doing anything.
Are parents giving up when they seek an alternative?
Many parents feel that they are abandoning their responsibility if they seek external help. An overwhelming sense of "losing the battle" or "giving up" can overtake them. Parenting is about gathering whatever resources and training is necessary to assure children grow to be productive, cooperative, loving adults. Parenting is also a big part of the program at Arivaca Boys Ranch. Letting acting out and defiant behavior persist will lead to a very different result. It is time to act.
What is the difference between youth boot camps and working ranches?
Youth Boot Camps
Youth boot camps come in two basic varieties: long-term, traditional military style camps and short-term, commercial boot and wilderness camps. For many young men, particularly those with no goals or internal motivation for success, standard, military-style youth boot camps will not be that helpful in either the short or long term. First, traditional military boot camps operate like military basic training. The goal is to push and push, through yelling—a basic feature in boot camps—to embarrassing, putting down, punishing and forcing. If a child is motivated toward a military life and knows this is something to endure to achieve a goal, great.
Second, short-term camps do not allow enough time for behavioral change. Short-term students almost always come back for more. In the short term, your son will simply learn how to manipulate the new environment to get what he wants. Without internal motivation, this method will not succeed in changing behavior—except he will come home a more skilled manipulator.
Arivaca Boys Ranch
 We develop change by helping young men see that they can accomplish tasks successfully. We structure the environment to complete a school year so young men can experience the success of a full cycle of education. Each boy is responsible for the care of animals (equine therapy). They soon learn they will not get the emotional reactions of animals under control until they can learn to control their own emotions. Individual psychotherapy and group counseling is also an integral part since behavioral aspects and their alternatives have to be consciously realized to assure long term success.
Short term fixes are not the answer; it takes commitment
There is no such thing as a short term solution. Parents have to get used to the idea that a short term fix will not solve their parenting problem. It takes commitment to stay through to the finish. If a parent truly will do what it takes, then it takes commitment to the follow-through. In that way, true change is accomplished and another child is saved from a useless or troubled life.
Make the decision. Decide today if this is a quirky, short-lasting, teenage attitude problem, or is it a behavioral control problem that has gone out of control. If it is the latter, seek help. At least, talk to one of our counselors at Arivaca Boys Ranch and evaluate the pros and cons out in the real world, not inside your head where only fear and guilt keep it company. We want to help troubled boys. We know there are better ways and we can show them what they are like.
Contact Us
Home page
|
